Waba ufitanye ikibazo n’umuntu? Ese wagikemura gute? Dore inama ugirwa posted on Jun , 20 2011 at 11H 03min 59 sec viewed 4531 times Mu buzima nta muntu utagira igihe yaba yagirana ikibazo cyangwa

posted on Jun , 20 2011 at 11H 03min 59 sec viewed 4531 times



Mu buzima nta muntu utagira igihe yaba yagirana ikibazo cyangwa se akabazo n’umuntu. Bimaze kugaragara ko abantu benshi batazi uburyo bwo gukemura ibibazo. Hari ababa badashaka kubikemura cyangwa se abashaka kubikemura bakoresheje inzira zitari zo ndetse zishobora no gukomeza cyangwa se gukurura ibindi bibazo.

Burya mu buzima ni ngombwa kumenya kwemera ko wakosheje (iyo wakosheje) ndetse ukanagerageza gukosora ikosa ryawe. Ni na ngombwa kandi kubabarira uwagukoshereje kuko burya nacyo ni ikimenyetso cy’ubupfura. Twakoze ubushakashatsi ku buryo bwiza umuntu yakemuramo ibibazo yaba yaragiranye n’undi muntu (cyangwa abantu) maze dukusanyiriza hamwe uburyo bwiza bwo gukemura ibibazo:

- Banza witonde: Nk’uko umwanditsi Ambrose Bierce yabivuze: “Nuvuga mu gihe urakaye, uzavuga ijambo uzicuza iteka”, si byiza ko ushaka gufata ibyemezo by’uko wakemura ikibazo na mugenzi wawe mu gihe ugifite cyangwa se agifite uburakari. Banza ubihe igihe gihagije ndetse unamenye wowe ku giti cyawe uruhare wagize mu makimbirane mwagiranye.

- Ubaha uwo mufitanye ikibazo: Nk'uko umukambwe Nelson Mandela yabivuze: “Ntsinda uwo tudahuje ibitekerezo ntamutesheje agaciro.” N'iyo waba wumva mugenzi wawe ariwe uri mu makosa (akenshi ni nako biba bimeze ku bantu bagiranye ibibazo, buri wese yumva undi ariwe nyirabayazana) mwubahe mbere y’uko ugerageza gukemura ikibazo mufitanye, nakwegera umuhe umwanya muganire.

- Emera uko ikibazo giteye: Ibibazo abantu bagirana ntabwo biba bifite ibisubizo nk’uko wasubiza ikibazo cy’Imibare mu Ishuri.

Impuguke mu mibanire y'abantu (psychologist) w’umusuwisi witwa Carl Jung yigeze kwandika ati " ibibazo byinshi bikomeye mu buzima ntibiba bifte ibisubizo bihamye runaka. Yongeyeho ati: “Iyo ibyo bibazo bidakemuwe, ntabwo bihagarara ahubwo bigenda birushaho gukura.”
Urugero niba ugiranye n’umwana muto ikibazo maze ntugikemure, uko azagenda akura ni nako ashobora kugenda agira imbaraga ukazasanga ka kabazo gato kabaye ikibazo cy’ingutu mu bihe bizaza. Si ku mwana gusa ibi birashoboka ahantu hose. Ugomba rero kwemera ko ikibazo ari ikibazo ndetse ukanakitaho uko ubishoboye ngo gikemuke nta kujenjeka.

- Muganire mwembi: Ikibazo gikomera iyo abantu bagifitanye batagira umwanya wo kuganira ngo babwizanye ukuri, ugasnga buri wese adaha umwanya mugenzi we. Niba koko ufite umutima ushaka ko ibibazo bikemuka ugomba kuganira n’uwo mufitanye ikibazo kandi mukabikora mu kubahana. Mu kiganiro mugirana si byiza na mba gushaka ufite amakosa kurusha undi kuko ibi nta kindi bitanga uretse kongera gutera ibibazo kuko mutakumvikana ku watangiye ikibazo. Ahubwo buri umwe muri mwe agomba gushaka uruhare yagize muri ayo makimbirane maze akayabwira undi. Burya iyo abantu babiri bafitanye amakimbirane, ntibazakubeshye bombi baba akenshi “badashobotse”. Akenshi, buri wese aba afite uruhare rutari rwiza yabigizemo.

- Shaka umuhuza: Niba ibyo hejuru byose bitakunze, shaka umuhuza. Umuhuza byaba byiza ari nk’inshuti uhuriyeho n’umuntu mufitanye ikibazo. Umuhuza ashobora gusa kubahuriza hamwe mukaganira ahari. Akaba yababaza ibibazo ku kibazo mufitanye ndetse akaba yanaba uburyo ushobora gukoresha kugirango utumeho mugenzi wawe mufitanye ikibazo ibyo utashobora kumubwira muri kumwe.

Hari abantu bahura n’utubazo cyangwa ibibazo maze bakumva byacitse. Si uguhangayika cyangwa ugusakaza za “byacitse” kakahava. Mu buzima rwose ibibazo bibaho, ahubwo nk’uko umunyabwenge Tom Crum yabivuze: “Ubuzima bwacu ntibushingiye kuba dufite ibibazo cyangwa se tutabifite, ubuzima bwacu bushingiye ku buryo dusubiza (duhangana) n’ibibazo dufite”.

Nk’uko umwanditsi Richard Bach yabivuze kandi: “Buri kibazo kiba gifite impano [kikuzaniye] muri cyo”. Kugira ikibazo bibaho, byari bikwiye kugusigira isomo ndetse n’ubunanaraibonye mu guhangana n’ibibazo.