ESE GUTANGA AVANCE MU RUKUNDO UBIBONA UTE?

Publié le par uwumukiza

Ese gutanga avanse ni urukundo cyangwa ubugwari?


posted on May , 19 2011 at 09H 57min 08 sec viewed 22935 times



-“Njyewe sinakwemera gushaka umukobwa ngo tujye mu rugo ntararyamana nawe, ubwo ni ubugwari bukabije!”

-“Nabwirwa n’iki ko umukobwa dukundana azanshimisha twageze mu rwacu? Ngomba kubanza gufata avanse!”

-“Njyewe umuhungu ansabye kumuha avanse n’ubwo bwaba buri bucye tugasezerana sinamwemerera maze bikagenda uko byakagenze!”

-“Sinakora ikosa ryo gushakana n’umuhungu ntamuhaye avance inshuro imwe…"

- Icyizere gitangira gucumbagira iyo abakundana baryamanye, haba ku wayatse ndetse no kuwuyitanze bombi.

Aya ni amwe mu magambo yiganje mu basore n’inkumi z’iki gihe, aho usanga umusore yibaza niba yakundana n’umukobwa bakageza igihe cyo kurushinga atararyamana nawe, si abasore gusa bafite ikibazo nk’iki kuko usanga n’abakobwa batandukanye bibaza bati: “Ariko se n’ubundi ko ari uwanjye ndamutse mwimye avanse akanyanga naba ndushywa n’iki? Reka muhe n’ubundi uwo uzaheka ntumwisha urume.”

Ndabizi ubu utangiye kuvuga ngo Ruzindana noneho arashaka kugera kuki? Humura icyo nshaka kugeraho uraje ugisobanukirwe, nako si ukugisobanukirwa ahubwo ndashaka ko umfasha kukimenya neza; “Ese gutanga avanse ni urukundo cyangwa ni ubugwari?”

Ari Shehe, Padiri, Pasitori, Umukiristo wamenetse cyangwa wa wundi wo ku Cyumweru, Noheli cyangwa Pasika afite ikintu avuga kuri iyi ngingo kandi iyo uganiriye n’umwe akumvisha ibitekerezo bye, erega nawe ukumva aribyo! Hakaza undi nawe mwaganira akagucengezamo ko ari ubugwari, erega ugataha wumva wanze wa wundi wa mbere!

Ndabizi sindagera aho ushaka, uracyashaka kumenya ngo “ese gutanga avanse ni urukundo cyangwa n’ubugwari?” reka nkubwireko kugeza uyu mwanya urimo gusoma iyi nkuru najye wayanditse ntarasobanukirwa neza kuko abantu benshi twaganiriye bancengejemo inyurabwenge zitandukanye nk’uko nabikubwiye, cyokora reka nkuvungurire kubyo abasore n’inkumi bambwiye yewe naragenze ngera no kwa Pasitori aranganiriza ariko igitangaje nta numwe wahuje n’undi, umwe avuga ibye undi ibye.

Ariko kuki ugira amatsiko? Wisimbuka igika ushaka kugera aho ushaka kumenya igisubizo nyakuri cy’iki kibazo nakubajije, ahubwo ndashaka ko nawe ubwawe ubanza ukambwira wowe ubwawe ubibona gute? Ubyumva gute? Nyuma y’ibyo abasore cyangwa inkumi zakubwiye usanga “Gutanga avanse” ari urukundo cyangwa ni ubugwari?

Kamanayo Gaspard ni umusore w’imyaka 28 y’amavuko; naramwegereye ngo amare amatsiko nk’umuntu ugiye kurushinga mu minsi mike, mu kunsubiza yagize ati: “Nkubwije ukuri naragerageje ngo ndebe ko nyamukobwa hari icyo yampimira habura amezi 11 ngo dushakane biba iby’ubusa! Icyakora nageze aho mubwira ngo nutampa avanse (icyo gihe haburaga amezi 4) urukundo rwacu ruzazamo agatotsi n’uko aremera arayimpa… mbona yarabikoze kubera urukundo ankunda.”

Samantha Kab. we afite imyaka 24 ubwo namubazaga kuri iyi ngingo yo gutanga avanse itavugwaho rumwe na benshi yansubije mu rwenya rwinshi ku buryo nasetse imbavu zikenda gutana (uramenye nawe udaseka ariko iyi mashini cyangwa telefoni urimo gusomeraho ukabikubita hasi).

Samantha yagize ati: “Ndagira ngo nkubwire ko Mama wambyaye atigeze aroga, ataroga ndetse yewe nkurikije ubunyangamugayo muziho ntazapfa aroze, none ngo nakwima avance umusore unkunda! Ubwo se naba nshaka kugera kuki koko nzamuha nzanywe umuti, ibyo ni ibintu toto rwose!”

Nagize ngo aba bamwiye gutya kubera ko ari urubyiruko rugifite amaraso ashyushye niko kwegera Couple ya Kanimba na Kankuyu bamaze amezi ane yonyine babana. Nahereye ku mugore mubaza niba yaratanze avanse maze mu kunsubiza agira ati: “Dore nguyu(avuga umugabo) nawe yabivuga yansabye avanse inshuro nyinshi ndamutsembera, ambwira nabi ndamwihorera, kugeza n’aho yamaze igihe yaranze kumpamagara ndetse tudasohokana nka mbere ariko yaje kubona ko yirushya ararekera.”

Murabizi rero abanyamakuru aho tuva tukagera tugira amatsiko, amashyushyu ndetse twemera tubonye nka Tomasi(wa wundi wo muri Bibiliya) nahise mbaza Kanimba nti: “Amaze kuwangira wumvise umeze gute? Wagize isoni? Wagize ikimwaro nsobanurira muri macye uko byagenze”, mu magambo make atuje Kanimba yagize ati: “Narasebye pe! nabonye ko ndi ikigwari, uzi kugirango umukobwa akurushe kwihagararaho? Icyakora byanyeretse ko n’iyo namusiga nkajya hehe nazasanga yarashyizeho ingufuri; rwose gutanga avanse ni ubugwari.”

Ngayo nguko! Abo twaganiriye ni uko bambwiye wowe se hari uwo wemeranya nawe muri aba twaganiriye? Ese ni urukundo? Cyangwa n’ubugwari? Ngaho mbwira uko ubyumva. Eeeeh nari nibagiwe kukubwira ibyo Pasitori yambwiye kandi nari nabigusezeranyije; ngaho fungura amaso usome neza ibyo uyu mukozi w’Imana yambwiye.

Yagize ati: “Ikintu gikomeye cyubaka couple (abantu babiri bakundana) ni ukwizerana no kubwizanya ukuri ku bintu byose, burya umukobwa watanze avance atakariza icyizere umuhungu ndetse agatangira gukeka ko ajya amuca inyuma akajya no kubaza abandi bakobwa. Byongeye kandi umusore nawe atangira kugirira umukobwa icyizere gicye akavuga ati umukobwa nsabye avanse akayimpa nabwirwa n’iki ko n’abandi atabahaye cyangwa atazabaha? Mbese avanse igabanya kwizerana bimwe bikomeye ndetse ahanini bisenya n’ingo z’abashakanye.”

Ngirango nawe umaze gusoma iyi nkuru urumva ko nari mfite ishingiro ryo kubaza ndetse nkibaza nti “Avanse ni urukundo cyangwa ni ubugwari?” Ngaho mbwira rero, wowe bamaze iminsi bayaka uzayitanga? Cyangwa uzaba nka Kankuyu? Ko iyi ngingo ivugwa cyane muri iyi minsi bamwe bavugako urukundo, abandi bavuga ko ari ubugwari wowe ubibona ute nibyo cyangwa sibyo?

Igitekerezo cyawe ni ingenzi mu kubaka Umuryango Nyarwanda.

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